All of them are #1 because MY MOM FUCKING RULES. This was going to be a list of 10 items but I made it 11, because it has one more 1 in it which makes it 1 more awesome than 10. That's how #1 she is!1. She drove me all over the place to buy my first few guitars and amps. Dad would have too but he worked nights to pay for things like my 2nd guitar and amp and various effects pedals so he was usually sleeping during the day.. I guess I can let that slide, Dad. But hey, more about him on Father's Day.
1. My sister and I (I think?) were bickering in the car while Mom was driving and we were annoying enough to disgust her to the point of making her throw her chicken sandwich out the window. Yet she still kept us! Yay for not being sold to a third world country and subjected to a life of sewing soccer balls together or making socks at the Hanes factory for 18 hours a day!
1. Mom makes the coolest quilts ever (ours has KISS pajama patches in it and even a pocket)
1. Mom makes the best bread in the world and killer mochas
1. Back when we lived in MN I was always sent home with white containers of delicious homemade Mom food
1. She subjected me to good music when I was a kid
1. She knows how to send the email on the internets and use The Facebook
1. She used to take me along on midnight shopping trips to Cub Foods and buy me issues of Hit Parader and Metal Edge
1. Before I knew her she was hot. I can't say she's hot after being born because that's kinda gross, but I've seen pictures of her back when my Dad was courting her and yeah, she was hot. She probably still is but like I said, I just can't go there. I'm her son, for crying out loud
1. She makes cakes that are 10 times better than any of that crap you pay 10 times more for at a bakery. For reals. Hit her up for a wedding cake sometime, even if you're not getting married.
There you have it. There's a million more #1s about her but what do you think I do, sit around and write 11 Awesome Thing Number 1 lists about my Mother all day? Only people who are sick in the head or still think their mom is hot do that. I've got an iced mocha to drink and fingernails to clip. Time is money. Chop chop!
Love ya Maw - Happy Mum's Day!
