Is that a pole in the subway or is it just happy to see me?

I love the subways here. LOVE. THEM. I love how from the outside they kind of resemble 1950s aluminum airstream camper trailers. I love the way the insides look. The gust of warm subway wind you get blasted with when one whizzes by in the underground terminals (wow, that was a very farty sounding sentence). I relish the smell of subway air; Bryn can attest that I actually huff it when we walk through a strong cloud of it. The sound and feeling of one rumbling the sidewalk from below as you're walking outside. I enjoy looking for rats on the tracks and observing the trash while waiting for trains. The subways are seriously one of my favorite things about NYC - from the newer ones which are bright and clean to the older ones with off-yellow interiors which resemble a pair of stained undies from the 1970s at Goodwill... I love it all.

One night last week while getting nestled in the oh-so-comfortable seats of the Manhattan-bound F train to meet up with some peeps, I looked at the suspension/people-holder-upper post in front of us and mentioned how if one was a talented female stripper, one might be able to make some extra money on the ride home from work. More people would use the subways, generating more revenue for the MTA maybe even lowering the current $2.25 fare. The subway cars might not be wide enough to accommodate the "hold onto the pole sideways and swirl down" stripper move, but who knows... if horny dudes are dumb enough willing to go give all of their hard (pun intended) earned money to hot babes that aren't going home with them in the first place, maybe they wouldn't mind getting whacked in the head by a whirling pair of trashy clear stiletto heels, either. If you ask me, the latter of the two actually makes more sense.

Now that I think about it however, the stripper idea might be too much of a security risk, and worse yet a bacterial risk. I already get the heebie jeebies holding onto those subway posts and warsh my hands as soon as I can after making contact with 'em. There's no need to add more body juice of strangers into the mix at this point.

Maybe they could put merry-go-round horses on the posts which riders could hop on and read the paper while in transit. They could even equip each post with headphone jacks so that if you wanted, you could plug your earbuds or headphones in and listen to carrousel music while going up and down on the horsie. Think of how much fun that would be!

I need to digress for a moment: I just went to good ol' Google to verify that I was using the correct spelling for "carrousel" due to Firefox's spell check wanting to correct it. I had it right (carrousel/carousel = same thing) , but made a rather disturbing discovery: when executing a Google query for "carrousel music", this site is one of the first on the list: music.carouselstores.com. I listen to some pretty disturbing music, but this goes far beyond even my palate. If you willingly search out and buy a CD full of carrousel music I'm sorry, but that's kind of creepy. The only use I think there would be for something like that is to play the CD on repeat super loud on the surround sound when leaving the apartment for the day just to make neighbors wonder a little.

Back to the topic at hand. The subway posts. The only other idea that immediately came to mind is putting something on the floor similar to a Sit-N-Spin where one would hold onto the post, stand (or sit if you're tired) on the platform, and spin around until you're silly in the head and feel like you're going to blow chunks. That might be the most affordable add-on out of all of these options so far and make those after-bar rides home rather entertaining. Get the throwing up done on the train so when you get home you can just pass out on the floor. What a great time saver that might prove to be.

The thought of affixing a tetherball onto the posts just crossed my mind, but I'm not sure I want to get conked in the melon by a tetherball soaring around the post at dangerous speeds. The only thing we did with tetherball in elementary school was whack the ball really hard in the same direction until it was completely wound around the post... I would imagine there would be more of that than actual games of tetherball in the subways. Which I guess isn't a bad thing if you're on the train and have some frustrations you need to get out.

They could also consider going the Willy Wonka route. The posts could be replaced with delicious candy cane sticks which riders could lick while in transit. Not only would it be a delicious snack for all to enjoy, but the cars would smell minty fresh at all times. I guess I wouldn't want to hold onto something like that though. It would be all sticky and grody and full of things like jacket residue, hair, and other people's spit.

I dunno. I'll think of something to do to enhance those darned posts. They do serve a purpose and a great one at that by holding both the ceiling of the cars up as well as people during jerky train departures... but they're so plain. I think something like a carrousel horse would really make it pop and bring the overall experience of wasting time sitting in the innards of a subway to a whole new level.

Micycle's 2009 Music Buffet by micycle

Micycle's 2009 Music Buffet by micycle

Earlier this year I cranked out three new Iced Ink tunes. Only one of them ("Ikki Lake") got around to being rehearsed enough to be played live by the "real" band, and unfortunately the summer got a little too crazy and zero of th...em were recorded by the actual band.

Who knows when/if these will be played by live musicians anytime soon.. that said, I think these demos deserve to be heard (FYI - these were recorded all by my lonesome at home in my undies with a handful of guitars, my computer and a drum sequencer). Without further ado, here they are! Sorry, no lyrics are available at present time. (ps - Joe and Barry: Miss you guys!)

Song-ographies:

"Don Julio" We went to Cabo in February 2009. I immediately became enamored with Don Julio Anejo tequila and this is my little love song I wrote for it.

"Ikki Lake" Iced Ink played a gig in spring of 2009 and shared a bill with a self-proclaimed "Leading female guitarist in America". Not only did I accidentally catch It bending over to pick up Its amp, which I still need to go to therapy for - but It also expected to keep the $20 that all three of the bands made that night. A week or so later, the song "Ikki Lake" was born as my angst-ridden musical diary of the whole experience. If you think you're a rock star and you really, really aren't, I'm sorry - but you're going to have to go fuck yourself.

"People Syrup" My my my.. Now here's a happy, light little piece of subject matter! This one is the result of a sick lil' musical experiment of forcing myself to not tell anyone about something rather horrifying that I saw until AFTER I'd gotten it out in music: A few months ago I was biking home and at a red light in DT Mpls... looked over to the corner on my right and there was a guy laying on the ground in a frozen mannequin-like position with a steady flow of translucent red drips coming from his head (thankfully he was facing the other way). A stranger was standing over him on his cell looking around frantically for police.

It freaked the shit out of me thinking I'd just seen someone who was likely dying or already dead.. and who knows why or how it happened. That's something I've never really experienced before and it's kind of hung with me, so what better way to let the demons out than through a really fucked up new Iced Ink tune?! People Syrup = the translucent red stuff leaking out of his head. There was a little dried sidewalk stain when I biked past the scene next morning (I HAD to look for it). Ish.