Back to the shopping trip: I needed some canned goods and produce the other day with which to make chili, salsa, and bean soup (we're very regular around here if you know what I'm sayin'). I could have very easily strolled two blocks down to Key Foods, but they're better for smaller/last minute trips being that everything costs a bit more and the selection isn't as vast.
There's this little place called Pathmark down at Atlantic Center which I figured I'd walk down to, explore, and buy all of the items needed to make the aforementioned entrees. From the outside to a Pathmark virgin such as myself I first thought it was a massive dollar store, but once I walked in for the first time when we first got to NY I realized that I'd entered another dimension... The Pathmark Zone. (insert Twilight Zone theme here) This particular location is a quick 15 minute walk from us and conveniently next to the Target we frequent. I figured I might as well jump in and see what it's all about. Here's a street view of the area courtesy of Google maps:View Larger Map
Pathmark is to the left. If you click your mouse and drag around to the right and look up, there's Target. We all on the same page now? Good.
That photo doesn't accurately represent the day to day hustle and bustle at this intersection - it's smack dab in the middle of 6 subway lines and 2 bus routes which makes it a bit of a clusterfuck to walk through at times, but everyone is generally nice in a "We're all in this together" kind of way which is cool. You have to go there in the mindset that yeah, it's going to be busy and suck.. that's just part of the "charm" of living in the big city.
It was raining out and I had nothing to lose but calories, money, and time. I put on my boots and made the 15 minute walk to Pathmark with Bryn's gramma's trusty grocery cart in hand. It was pretty weird walking into a new grocery store in a new state for the first time. Everything is the same but different. The produce department is like the size of a small football field - and although 90% of it is in horseshit condition and inedible, I realized that if I did some digging that I pretty much found everything I needed - except for jalapeno and Anaheim peppers which seem to be a rarity in this area.
And then there's the aisles: hardly anything on the shelves is in the right place. The general area is right but as far as things like cans matching up with shelf labels? Fegeddabaddit. The neighboring Target store is the exact same way every time we go; if you were to walk in there on any given day and pick 10 random items off of the shelves, I'll bet you 8 of them would differ from the shelf label area they were stocked over. It's really quite impressive! I imagine the job interview process for stock people at these places is something like this:
Pathmark: "Can you take things out of boxes and put them on shelves?"
Interviewee: "Yep."
Pathmark: "True or false: Canned tomatoes go in the canned vegetables aisle."
Interviewee: "Umm... purple?"
Pathmark: "When can you start?"
After about an hour of aimlessly wandering around and exploring all of the glory Pathmark had to offer, I had all of my items in the basket and was ready to pay. Now here's where it gets painful: Every time we've walked by this store and I've peeked in I'd see about 40 checkout aisles all so crammed full that the lines actually curl around into the shopping aisles. I used to think it was just coincidentally busy whenever I'd look in but I'm pretty sure now that it's always that way. There are no short lines or better lines than other ones - they all suck. You just have to find one and start standing. Which I did.
Thank goodness for my iPod, that's alls I have to say. While standing in line I listened to 27 minutes of a Podcast, called Bryn, and read some of People Magazine's special 1970s flashback issue. They lost major points with me for not mentioning KISS in the music section. They mentioned Elton John and The Eagles as if they were the Beatles of the 1970s but nothing about KISS. Don't get me wrong, I love Elton and The Eagles, but no KISS? What's wrong with the people at People?
I was almost at the finish line. The man ahead of me had one of those 24 roll packs of toilet paper. You know how at Target they'll put those plastic tape handles on for you sometimes? Not at Pathmark. I kid you not - I watched the cashier casually tie five plastic bags together to form a belt which she wrapped around the cumbersome package of asswipe while myself and a dozen other people behind me waited. It was like watching MacGyver in ultra-slow motion. That's treading a rather thin line between exceptional customer service and Beeitch.. what the feck you doin'? He bought it, let him figure out how to carry it home.
My turn finally came and I was fearing what the total was going to be for my pile of stuff. I kept thinking Aw man... this would cost me around $30 in MN and I'll bet it will be $50 here. Surprisingly it all came to $34. What you don't pay in money you certainly pay for with time, but thankfully I've got time right now (thank you, savings account). I loaded up the grocery getter cart and pushed that sucker home in the rain, proud that I'd survived my first big trip to Pathmark. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the grocery shopping life at a major chain store in Brooklyn.
It's really not that bad as long as you're in the right mindset and have tunes to listen to. There's another Pathmark the same distance from us as the Atlantic Center one which we briefly ventured into last week. It doesn't seem nearly as crowded there, so I think we'll hit that one next time and up until we become members of the Park Slope food co-op a few blocks from our place. Everything at the co-op is a bit cheaper, far superior in quality from anything else I've seen around here, and although it gets crowded in there too it's not nearly as draining as Pathmark. There's a one month waiting list to get into the co-op and we have 28 days to go before we're in. That's going to be awesome. I'm sure I'll miss Pathmark when that time comes.
