All of the Bill I can handle and none of the tornadic warnings

So waaaaay back when in 2000-sumpin, some of you may remember a television program called Freaks and Geeks. Many of you prolly don't. This show ruled some serious ass; it was my favorite show ever. Still is. If you were even remotely amused by Wonder Years, do yourself a favor and check this show out. It has that same sort of vibe, but it's more of a high school/burnout crew, and there's no cheesy sentimental narration from Home Alone star Daniel Stern.

When I see something I like on teevee, I can usually tell that it's not going to last long. Why, you axsk? Because usually in order to be a successful television program (note how I say successful, which doesn't really mean good), it has to be something with a high suck factor. Sure, a few good shows slip through the cracks every now and again. But for the most part, teevee shows retain about as much of my interest as a football game.. and anyone who knows me knows that I go from awake to sleep in 30 seconds when "the game" is on.

That said, when I see a show I absolutely love, I religiously tape it to hold onto it and cherish forever. And unlike most people that tape shit, I actually watch it more than once. That's because there's very few things on that I like enough to record, so that makes it easy. The herd is thin and there's not much to choose from. I think all I have are my old Freaks and Geeks tapes, some old 70s KISS television footage, and an episode of SNL that Steve Buscemi hosted.

So yeah, I taped 16 of the 18 episodes of Freaks and Geeks and have watched them at least 2wice a year since then. They're piss poor recordings and many episodes are absolutely bedraggled with KARE 11 NEWS tornado warnings. Every few minutes the screen shrinks, the sound cuts out, and a beeping tornado alert scrolls across the screen. Man that used to piss me off. Not to mention the commercials for Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? and Survivor.. yeah, those have been a real treat to fast forward though over the years.

Bill. a.k.a. My heeeeero! *swooooon*

Thanks to the shitstorm of telly-vision DVD box sets that has ensued over the last few years, Freaks made its way to said DVD format. And today I just got the complete set in the mail (thankyouverymuch, Ebay). How sweet it is. Every time my favorite character Bill Haverchuck and his harelip grace the screen, it is now in ultra clear digital quality. You can almost see every little zit, blackhead, and smudge on his glasses. His incredibly hollow and lifeless lines can now be heard again with no more tornado warning beeps. Yaaaaaaaaaay!!

The weird thing, though, is when I'm watching these DVDs now, I keep waiting for the screen to shrink and tornado beeps to take over. I actually sort of miss it in some fucked up kind of way.. just like how I got so used to where all of the skips were on my Gene Simmons solo album and was caught off guard when they weren't on the CD when I bought it. It grew on me after a while, but took some getting used to. To this day when I listen to his tune True Confessions, I still expect the a capella choir at the end to sound like this:

Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa *pop*
aaaaaaah*pop*
aaaaaaah*pop*
aaaaaaah*pop*
aaaaaaah*pop*

...and so on (until I'd bump the record player to get it going again.) I'm thinking maybe there's an easter egg on these here DVDs that will enable me to watch the shows with the KARE 11 tornadic panic attacks every 5 minutes. Just until I get used to it without them, at least. Regardless, these DVDs and the extras kick waaaaay more ass than my VHS tapes, so I'll just do my best to get acclimated with this newfangled high quality format.

But not until after I scour the DVD menu for possible hidden Tornadic Panic Attack-Enhanced versions of the episodes.