Tomorrow I'm expecting the UPS man to deliver a box to me that contains a brand new 3rd generation Kindle e-book reader. Thanks to all of the electronics purchases I make on behalf of my employer, I recently racked up enough bonus points to cash in for one. Six months ago I could have cared less about such a doodad, but I'm currently going on almost a year of reading roughly 2 hours a day on the train to and from work. I have 30+ notches in my finished book belt since last October which is prolly more books than I've read (through to the end at least) in the last 20 years combined. And a lot of these books I've been reading don't even have pictures! I know! It's amazing how my attention span with books significantly increased when suddenly the only alternative I had to reading them was staring at Docker and pantsuit-adorned asses 12" from my face when sitting in a crowded train.The problem with reading books on the subway is they're just another gall damned cumbersome thing to carry, not to mention at least once or twice a day while I'm reading someone will brush past me getting on or off the train and inadvertently flip a few pages. In order for that to happen after tomorrow, someone will have to bend down and press the page turn button on the side of the Kindle.. and I will take that Kindle and whap them on the head with it providing there's room on the train for my arms to adequately pivot.
I've always had this weird thing with trying to keep my books in pristine shape when I read them. Not so easy to do when I have to shove my books in my backpack every day.. by the time I'm done with them they're far from mint (I still haven't read my Dave Mustaine book for that reason). That won't be an issue anymore being that there are no covers or dust jackets to worry about with e-books.
Another great life change I anticipate with Kindle ownership: it plays mp3s. This will really come in handy when I jog around the park because now instead of bringing my iPod along for the run as I always do, I'll bring the Kindle to a) play music and b) read as I run. I have a cartoon bubble over my head of running, listening to Slayer, and reading some Mark Twain - all at once. Sure, I might crash into another runner, tree, or maybe even a cyclist, but that's OK. As long as I have my Kindle I can use its 3G service to email someone for help.
My Kindle will hold up to 3,500 books. That's fucking sweet, man. Can you say "book burning party"? The wife and I have quite the little book collection on the 6 tier bookshelves in our living room area that surround our television. Now we can get rid of those unsightly books and I can put the Kindle on one of the many empty shelves in their place. The rest can be filled up with dirty dishes, beer bottles, unopened mail... the sky is the limit. I'm so excited to get all of that shelf space back! I almost want to burn them now just to get an early start.
I wonder why it's called a Kindle? I know the people at Amazon are clever sometimes... Maybe that's some sort of sarcastic name and it's actually nonflammable. I'm going to go throw some lighter fluid and a Zippo in my backpack for when it arrives in my office... I'll spray it all over the box, set it on fire, and once all that can be burned has been burned there will be one thing remaining in the pile of soot: my sweet new Kindle. When co-workers inevitably walk by to see what all of the fire and fuss is about I will hiss at them so they know to keep their distance. Leave me alone, man. Sue me if you have to. When I have to do that thing in court where I put my hand on the ho-lee bible I'll be able to download it to my Kindle on the spot via the Amazon store in less than 60 seconds.
