I'm sitting here looking at an orange monkey squeaky toy on my desk and am a little perplexed, mainly because it has no arms.
When is the last time you saw an orange monkey with no arms? I ask because prior to seeing this squeaky toy, I'd never heard of such a thing. I ain't never heard of neither an orange monkey nor an armless monkey, much less a monkey that is simultaneously both bright orange and armless.
This orange monkey is also quite small. About 4" high to be exact. I know there's wee monkeys out there (spider monkeys, I think?), but not this small. So far the only things this here orange monkey has got going for it as far as resembling a monkey whatsoever is the monkey face and the fact that it squeaks. Yes, monkeys possess both of those traits.
Maybe this here monkey has no arms because they forgot to sew them on at the orange monkey factory. Maybe this here monkey has no arms because it was mangled in a farm accident. I don't know, but I'm starting to feel sorry for the lil' dude. I'm starting to realize that although he is bright, furry and orange on the outside that maybe he needs someone to talk to. Let the Orange Armless Monkey Therapy Session begin:
Me: Hey little orange monkey, why have you no arms?
Monkey: squeak!
Me: Hey little orange monkey, why are you little and orange?
Monkey: squeak!
Me: Would you like some water, or a biscuit?
Monkey: squeak!
Me: Okay little monkey, here you go.
Monkey: squeak!
Me: Is there anything you'd like to talk about, little monkey?
Monkey: squeak.
Me: What would you like to talk about?
Monkey: squeak squeak.
Me: Anything else?
Monkey: squeak!
Me: Do you ever get a little self conscious from the fact that I look at you on and off for roughly 8 hours a day?
Monkey: squeak!
Me: Well, I can certainly move you from the top of my monitor to a more secluded area if you'd like.
Monkey: squeak!
Me: Okay, will do. Well, it was certainly nice getting to know you. Don't be a stranger now!
Monkey: squeak!
Me: You too, monkey. If you ever need anything, unlike you I have fully functioning arms and hands, so I'd be glad to get you whatever you need. Just say the word - you know where to find me.
Monkey: squeak!
==
Well, that felt pretty good to get that awkward tension out of my system. I think little orange armless monkey and I are going to be pretty good friends.
