That there is the title of a yet-to-be-finished Iced Ink song and it goes quite nicely with today's journal entry topic: stoplights.
While executing a donut run to SA, I was waiting for the light to change so I could walk across Lyndale Ave. without being worried about being hit by a car. When trying to cross the street, on the traffic light an orange hand is illuminated to tell you nope, don't cross the street yet. Once the light changes, the hand turns into a walking stick figure which gives you the go ahead. Orange hand = no, walking stick figure = yes. Got it? Back in the old days, I remember when these signs simply said WALK and DON'T WALK, but with the popularity of people who evidently don't or can't read on the rise, they switched it to pictures because.. well.. pictures are easier to read.
So for us walkers out there, on the stoplights is a button I'm sure you're all familiar with: the "PRESS HERE FOR WALK" button. I've made feverish attempts to use this button over the years on many stoplights in hopes of engaging the WALK sign and have come to a conclusion: those buttons are only there to keep you busy while you're waiting. They don't shorten the wait whatsoever - if anything, they make you stand there like a dummy looking at the person light on the other traffic post waiting hopelessly for it to turn into a hand. I pressed the button and waited a good 35-40 seconds and there was no change in the traffic lights. I pressed it again. Nothing. Quick question: Have you ever seen a red light change within moments of pressing those buttons? I doubt it. I can't remember a time in my life when after pressing the WALK button that the lights changed and I was able to go on my merry way, making me a good 10-20 seconds earlier to my destination. I either wait it out or give up altogether and jaywalk. Or when I was a kid, I'd stand there in disappointment because the light never turned red in time to make the huge semi trucks have to stop and lose their momentum.
My grandpa told me a story once in regards to the WALK button which I always found particularly amusing (attn. troublemakers: you may want to jot this one down!) When they were kids, they'd glue thumbtacks to the button with the pointy side out so when an innocent unknowing pedestrian went to activate the button they'd instead end up with a nice fresh thumb piercing. YEEOWCH! 10 points to Gramps for 1) setting a good example for his grandson, and 2) being a lighthearted menace to society like that. No, it wouldn't be funny if it happened to you, but still, you've got to admit that's pretty ingenious cheap entertainment.
Back to the WALK button serving no purpose: people, these are your hard earned tax dollars being spent here. I think it's time we stand up and demand that The Button lives up to our expectations of it actually getting some work done when it's pressed. Or have it make a funny noise. Dispense vitamins. Gumballs. Or maybe put lights near the button that at least blink and give you something to look at while you're waiting.
I've had too much time to think lately... can you tell?
