Bibble bobble
- So we went to see "Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy" over the weekend. Here's what happens in a nutshell: Man hitches a ride on a giant square spaceship seconds before the aliens turn planet Earth into a cloud of dust and gas. Wackiness ensues, even more so when our leading character discovers the girl of his dreams is up in space too. If I ever want to read the book (which I've been told by numerous sources is better than the film), I'm going to have to tear out about 50 random pages and then read it so it makes as little sense as the movie did. The film is loaded with special effects which I found to be absolutely stunning once I blurred my vision to the point of not being able to make out what I was seeing on the screen.
- There are two kinds of people in this world: those who drive yellow cars, and those who look at yellow cars and think "Who in the fuck would drive a yellow car?"
- I just went to a local Caribou which has WIFI HOTSPOT stickers on the doors and windows. I got my overpriced beverage and sat down with the laptop to surf the web. It turns out that yes, they do have WIFI, but you have to pay for it in 2 hour increments. One would think after giving them roughly $3.00 in pure profits for 20 ounces of iced mocha, free WIFI access would be granted. Nope! It's $3 an hour. You can go to most independent coffee shops and get free WIFI, but not at Caribou. Is it me, or does this seem backwards?
- Martin Short is f*&king hilarious.
- I just realized when listening to take #5 of "Robster Craws" when it switches to the Bossa Nova section, I want the drums to do an upbeat jazz/swing beat instead. That sucks, because the only way to do that is to re-record the whole thing.
- I've said this ever since I was a kid: I wish dogs had cheeks so they could chew with their mouths closed.
- Dogs probably wish they had thumbs and could operate doorknobs so they could let themselves out whenever they wanted to.
- This just entered my head from out of nowhere: I remember in 3rd grade when Karen pinched her finger in the door and fainted. As soon as she saw blood, she began to swirl like a water tornado in a toilet bowl when you flush it. After the swirls peaked in radius, the laws of gravity decided that it was time for her to go from vertical to horizontal and she hit the ground. It was also that same classroom where Ryan ate Fiestada for lunch and threw it all up during class. Ryan sat directly behind me and his vomit sat even closer to me, creeping towards my KANGAROOS tennies like a slow, thick fog. Ron the Custodian came in to mop it up. It probably only took him a few minutes to get there with the mop, but it sure seemed like he was taking his sweet time.
- I learned that day that there is never a time in a person's life when they can be casual with sitting next to vomited up Fiestada and waiting for someone to mop it up.
- Ron likely learned that day that no amount of money is worth mopping up students' involuntary cafeteria regurgitations.
- What if monkeys had a 1/2 hour sitcom where they were in a band called "The Humans"?
- Jay Leno always has a pre-pubescent crackle in his voice when he screams.
- Last but not least, I would like to take this opportunity to thank the clothes dryer for supplying me with delicious iced mochas and banana-rum ice cream with chocolate chunks.
