We have a bag of Snickers that is supposed to last until a party tomorrow. I accidentally opened it and started eating them. Get that fucking bag away from me!! "Fun Size" my ass...
"Fun Size" = eat 400 of them instead of 1 regular size bar because they are smaller and create the illusion of being tiny little bite sized snackies. It's a mind game. If I had a dozen regular sized Snickers bars sitting around, I'd eat one and forget about them. But with these Fun Sizes, I cannot quit. It's easy to lose track after 3 or 4. This does not happen when I eat regular sized candy bars. I do not lose track of how many I eat. One of those is all it takes. And if I ate 2, you can bet your arse I'd know it.
But with FUN SIZE, I quickly lose count. And I'm not all that concerned about keeping track either. I'll eat at least 6-7 with little thought, which is probably equal to 2 or 3 regular sized bars. I know what you're thinking and you're wrong - it's not because of the "fun" aspect. I do not have any more fun eating "Fun Size" candy bars than regular ones. If anything, they're less fun. You waste a lot more time unwrapping them than you would a regular bar. There's wrappers all over the place, my lips and fingers are smudged with chocolate, and my self esteem always hits rock bottom when I eat them. Why? Because I cannot stop. Some people are addicted to drugs, I am addicted to chocolate. I'm getting all fired up sitting here thinking about it.. and I'm not even remotely hungry! Friends and family: are you listening? It's probably time for intervention.
Oh, sweet pain. Lord Have mercy on my chocolate filled soul.
Instead of Fun Size, they should call them "You're Only Kidding Yourself" size. Screw you, candy makers. You've got me in the palm of your hand and you know it.
I tried to cut myself off today, but am starting to get delirium tremors. I'm starting to salivate thinking about that peanutty Snickers goodness. Just one more won't hurt, will it? Is there a chocolate patch I could try wearing?
Dude.. where'd the bag go? WHERE'S. MY. SNICKERS.
