It's not very often that one gets to wake up to a full moon at 9am on a Saturday morning, but such was the case for yours truly a few hours ago. It was quite the sight - a diamond in the rough that has been the past 3 weeks, indeed.
I have to put a barrier of shit at the door in the room I'm staying in at my parent's house, otherwise my cat Frank scratches at the door for hours on end trying to get out so's he can mosey about the rest of the house. As a protective measure from the family dog Polly, I keep him in with me at night so she doesn't mistake him for a bunny and try to "peel" him, as my Aunt Cookie so aptly puts it. We gots bunnies out in the yard that Polly will capture and "peel" if she actually manages to nab one. We know this because Dad occasionally finds inanimate bunnies out in the yard that Polly has altered by removing most of their fur and skin. Can't figure out why she doesn't eat the bunny cadaver once she gets the skin off, as that's kind of like peeling a potato and then throwing it away. I'm starting to think that she's some sort of sicko, doing it for the thrill of letting all other bunnies know that they best not be f*&king with her lest they want to be skinned Ed Gein style. Regardless, Frank is small and possesses bunny-like markings, and I'd hate for Polly to mistake him for one.
So ANYHOO. This morning at approximately 8:30am, I heard a rustling at the door. Assuming it was Frank attempting to exscape as he so often does, I put a pillow over my head and ignored it and started dozing off again. The rustling grew progressively more intense. Really intense. Sheesh, says I in my head, he really wants out of here. After about 30 seconds of rather intense door noises, I heard it open and listened to the Frank barrier slowly slide across the floor. seconds later mine eyes opened and right before me 3 feet away stood a full moon, courtesy of my brother Chuck's hilarious buddy Jared. He fancies his bare bum as an alarm clock of sorts when he wakes people up, and trust me - it definitely gets you up and out of bed. 'Cause if you know Jared or have heard the stories, you don't know where that full moon will end up next if you don't move. Imagine if you will a cartoon character from the deep South hopped up on coffee and constantly spewing comedy out of his person, a lot of it blatantly and hilariously inappropriate, and that's Jared in a nutshell. He's like the older younger brother Chuck and I never had.
I have never had his trademark full moon awakening until today, because my brother and his friends live in Cleveland. He and Jared made a 13 hour trek up here to MN yesterday to hang out for a week, not telling my parents to create an element of surprise (which always works.) Even more of a surprise to them this time was that Jared was in tow - they stopped by to see Mom at work and she probably pooped her pants.
Judging from the numerous spontaneous shenanigans that have already taken place in the past few hours, I have already laughed to the point of being short on breath and have a feeling this is going to be a much needed high-octane week.
Look out Twin Cities: we're coming to your area for recreational deployment and we've got Jared. He brought his bowling ball and is ready to hit the town and tear shit up. Consider yourselves warned.
