Dear Frank:
Sorry I didn't come home last night to sleep next to you. You seemed a little upset with me this morning all whining and yelling at me and whatnot. I was not there to protect you from Polly, but you're still alive and that's all that matters. You can easily outrun her, as she is over 100 pounds and you are only 9. In most cases, she'd get up to run after you, see the Twinkies box, and forget about you, so don't worry. (Thanks, Jared!)
Just like that time when we first came here - you were lying on the fireplace minding your own business, she looked at you, got up and started barking. With the time it takes her to get up, you've already run off and found your hiding spot, so I don't think there's much for you to worry about.
So yeah; sorry. And I don't want any guilt trips about this incident. I heard you slept by mom under the dining room table and all went well, so at least I know you weren't alone. You such a playa. Don't play me though, because remember: I have opposable thumbs, and you don't. This means I don't have to open bags of Cat Chow with my teeth. I can open cans. I can provide you with fresh water. You can get fresh water on your own of course, but what if somebody left the toilet seat lid down? You don't have thumbs and are rather short, therefore incapable of lifting the lid up in a manner that would make it stay up so you can drink.
Once again, next time you try to lay the guilt on me, remember who has the thumbs in this relationship.
Sorry again for leaving you alone, lil' buddy!
Sincerely,
Micycle
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I will now send this message through an English to Cat translator so Frank can read it:
Reeeow... mmmmrah?
Mow wow mbbbbrah? Eh. Aaaayyyyyaah! Mowrrrrow...? Eh, eh. Pdddddddrdrdrdrdrdr. Reeeeeeeeeeeuw! Eh? R-rrrow.
Row,
Micycle
