Today is a day of special celebration. Twas today that (my age+5) years ago, my lovely sister entered this fine world of ours via my mom. Tonight we feast at Buca's in honor of this dear occasion, and a delicious feast it will be. I don't know about you, but when you spend a birthday whilst sitting before a 10# plate of spaghetti with meatballs the size of a poodle's head, life is good.
What can I tell you about my sister? She is older than me. She works harder than anyone. She somehow survived having 3 kids (beats me how she did that one, those lil' brats! I mean.. er.. wonderful little cherubs!) She has fun stories about a weird man that drinks entire 2 liters of sodie pop in one sitting at her place of employment. She don't take shit from no one. She is very silly. One time when we were youngens and were sleeping on the bedroom floor, she managed to make the heating ducts directly below us magically reverberate. She introduced me to the wonderful woild of Walkman portable music devices and boom boxes. Best of all, she told me about KISS when I was 5. I believe that to be the sole purpose for her existence, period. Sure, she's a top notch sister to have, goes above and beyond, is a caring mom and wifey, helps me move all the time, fun to hang with, and all that good stuff. Yes, it's all true, mind you, but as soon as she told me about KISS, her duty here on Earth was pretty much done as far as I'm concerned. HA! Just kidding seester.
So it's your birt-day, Eesa. I know that for your birthday, you told me you wanted that tank of nitrous oxide to knock Bob, the kids, and the dog out late at night so you could finally ex-cape and run off to Mexico never to be heard from again, but I'm sorry. Dude that was supposed to meet me in the parking lot of the Lake Street Target last Sunday at 3am never showed. Can't trust anyone these days, I tells ya. So you'll have to settle for a normal present for yet another year. Sorry. Will see what I can do for you next year, sis.
