So, I had an interesting experience last night. Mom sent me home over the weekend with two containers of yummy homemade lasagne, or "noodle cake" as I like to call it. Saaa-weeeet! That's at least 3 nights of not having to settle for cold cereal.
I'm a bit of a space case (sans the use of drugs, although this enchanting tale will likely make you beg to differ), especially as of late with trying to get packed to move and all that.
Got home with my noodle cake stash, put one container in the fridge, and for whatever reason left the other in the bag on the floor all night. So yesterday while I was packing and throwing stuff out, I ran across the bag on the floor with the full container in it. Yeeech. It wasn't growing fur yet or anything, but hells if I was going to consider taking it for a test drive.
I was in my jammie bottoms and th' apartment's dumpster is outside and a bit of a walk away. It was cold out and I wasn't about to get dressed to take this out and dump it, so started pondering some alternatives. I turned my head slightly to the right, and the toilet caught my eye. An imaginary spotlight was shining down upon it and everything else was left in the dark. I heard a choir singing in my head. It was a sign: put it in the terlit and flush it, I thought. Yes! Certainly worse things have gone down the hatch of that thing, and I figured the toilet actually would appreciate this if anything. It would be like I was feeding it, or giving it a treat.
So I opened up the container, plopped its contents into the biffy, and gave her a good hard flush. All seemed to be going as hoped for the first 5 seconds, and then the water started creeping towards the top of the bowl rather than go down like it's supposed to.
Um. Not good.
Thankfully no flooding occurred, but there was now a decent sized piece of lasagne lodged in the bottom of the toilet and it wasn't planning on going anywhere anytime soon. Awwwww shit. I reached for the plunger and suddenly realized oh yeah, I don't have one of those yet.
After a few more flushings, things only seemed to be getting worse. I put on my thinking cap and wondered... what sort of thing could I possibly use to try and fix this? Ah HA! A coat hanger.
So I went and got a wire hanger, undid it, and started fishing around trying to dislodge the mess that I had created. I tried flushing again and backed off right away as I watched the water creep towards the top of the bowl.
At this point, I started to have to go, if you know what I'm sayin'. I started to panic a little now. Tried a few more times with the hanger and flush technique, and thankfully on the 6 or 7th flush the lasagne was finally sucked down into the mighty black hole. All was right with the world once again.
But now I have another thing to worry about: being disowned by my mother for not treating her noodle cake with the proper respect it deserves. I'm sure in due time she'll end up reading this and see what I did with her care package she sent home instead of eating it like I was supposed to. Will I get grounded? Banned from the Rancho Relaxo premises? Will I be spending Christmas alone? Will she just send me home with containers of dog poo from now on seeing that I flush what she sends me home with down the toilet anyways? Ugh, I think I'm gonna puke.
That said, at least the toilet works.
