Okay... the Minnesota State Fair started this week. Please, for the sweet love of god, NO MORE "ON A STICK" jokes. They've all been done now. Let's make 2004 the end of the "on a stick" humor era, why don't we? People put things like candy bars, Twinkies, whatever, on a skinny tounge depressor and deep fry them. Get over it.
I think it's time we put the shoe on the other foot and start poking fun at the hardcore on-a-stick eaters. You've seen them - wearing their fanny packs, carrying the free yardstick, shorts wedged up in the inner thigh area, and consuming every on-a-stick item in sight, and then washing their artery-clogging gorgefest down with a $5 44 oz. Pepsi. Yeah, now there's some comedy!
Now that my #1 complaint is done and over, on to things I like about the Fair:
- Horrible, painful talent competition
- the pickles... mmm.. the pickles.
- people watching, mainly in the beached whale/beer garden area
- seeing the news anchors getting powdered during commercial breaks
- looking at the art
- walking past the Pro Life booth and pretending it's not there
- walking past the Pro Choice booth and only sort of pretending it's not there
- walking past the PETA booth while munching on delicious turkey jerky
- that interesting egg coffee that tastes kind of like popcorn
- scary rides (scary = "I think I see a loose bolt... is this going to fall apart and kill me?"), operated by scary people
- pretending not to hear the carnies barking as we walk by in the Midway. I have no time for your silly games, and I'm sure the person next to me doesn't need a 6' tall stuffed Snoopy.
- the junk barn
- looking at jars of jelly with ribbons on them trapped in glass display cases. Hell yeah, that is the recipe for fun right there, my friends.
- remembering the arguments had every year there with my girlfriend in high school. If you're reading this: Aaaaah - good times, good times!
- the freakshow (RIP)
- going home
I just heard some on-a-stick comedy on the radio as I was typing. It's not funny, Clear Channel KOOL 108 Motherf*&kers.
See you at the fair, punk.
