Wednesday, August 18, 2004

If you ask me if this is fresh one more time, I'm going to have to kill you

Dear coffee shop customer:



Yes, the pastries are fresh. Please don't ask me again. You know the deal; you come in almost every day. I have answered this question for you many, many times before... "Yes, the pastries are fresh."



Please, maam. I beg you.



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Dear coffee shop customer:



Please remove the cell phone from your face while ordering... or I will have to konk your thick melon with a frothing pitcher.



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Dear coffee shop customer:



Please specify which size coffee you want rather than just saying "gimme a coffee"



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Dear coffee shop customer:



The bathroom is through the back and to your right.



----- Dear coffee shop customer:



Yes, we have sandwiches



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Dear coffee shop customer:



No, the coffee is not fresh. Actually I've been saving it since yesterday just for you.



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Dear coffee shop customer:



If you think what you're getting is so overpriced to the point that you need to make some tacky, annoyed vocalization about it, why the hell do you then take out your money and pay for it?



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Dear coffee shop customer:



No, we don't have any.