As I was splashing some cold skim onto the pile of generic cinnamon tile-shaped cereal called "Crispy Cinnamon Twists(TM)" this morning (they are square shaped, not twist shaped... what's up with that?), I was distracted by my cat Devo who was yelling at me because he wanted the rest of his salmon which was slowly rotting in the icebox (or so it smelled.)
"Mmmmeeeeeeeeow... mmmmmmmmmm... REEEEOW" translated = "For the sweet love of god... open the door to that thing that keeps things cold, get out the little stinky can in the plastic bag, and dump those fish shards on my pink plate or I will have to go pee on your laundry."
Before I knew it, I had added way too much milk to my cereal. Such a severe milk-to-cereal imbalance makes for an unfulfilling cereal consumption experience. The way I like it, there should be just enough milk to cover about 3/4 of the cereal, and I had added so much that there was only a tiny island of Crispy Cinnamon Twists(TM) peeking out in the middle of a sea of skim, surrounded by a few floaters which looked kind of like rafts. The milk was just below the rim of the bowl - it was so full that I was going to have to make a tremendous effort to not spill it on the way to the kitchen table.
I turned around to put the milk back in the icebox and get out the salmon can, and as my back was turned, Devo had jumped on the counter, dipped his dirty little paw into my cereal bowl, and began licking the milk that had been absorbed into the fur of his toes.
Now I had a contaminated bowl of cereal with way too much milk in it, a crabby cat that helped himself to it, and didn't know what to do. I gave him his cold, stinky plate of salmon, started in on my cereal, and read a magazine article that I had already read twice (too lazy to find something else)
By the time I had fished all of the Crispy Cinnamon Twists(TM) out of the bowl, my belly was full of sugar and I was feeling a little queasy, but I could not dump the 1/2 cup of sugary skim that was left into the sink. I went back to the bag of Crispy Cinnamon Twists(TM), poured an amount of Crispy Cinnamon Twists(TM) into the bowl that was a perfect match to the leftover skim, and ate it. I felt completely sick, but god dammit, that skim was not wasted.Not too much later, I made it to work (at the coffee shop), grabbed a glass, and started making myself an iced mocha. It was a 16 oz. cup which calls for 3 scoops of chocolate powder. I had accidentally put 4 scoops in. Here we go again...
