I ripped that comment off from the classic 1986 KISS home video "eXposed". Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley were taking the camera crew through an old, dusty room full of KISS relics from the 70s. There was an Ace Frehley doll hanging from the ceiling with a tag on it and Paul Stanley jokingly grabbed on to the tag and said "..and this says 'I'm alive and well... where am I?'"
Granted this was a slight jab at Ace's fondness for a) being a bit of a space cadet and b) numbing himself (not necessarily in that order), ever since those words entered my 12 year old head, they've stuck there and played a very important role pretty much every day of my life since then. ("Ah HA!" I can hear some of you thinking)
This is the attitude we all need to have a little bit more of in our daily lives, myself included.
Last night after a cruise in the Awesome-Mobile, I was sitting at the stoplight off the South Lyndale exit from I94 and the car ahead of me was a purple Neon which was being operated by a very irate woman on her cell phone. There was a passenger in the vehicle who was on her cell phone as well (maybe they were talking to each other?) I don't like to judge a book by its cover, but I would go far enough to group these fine people in with the social classification many of today's younger people refer to as "Hoochie Mamas".
The driver was so incredibly angry with whomever she was talking to that she was holding her cell phone in front of her face like a walkie talkie and screaming her obscenity-laced feelings into it. It was very hard to not get out of my car, pry the cell phone out of her hands, stomp on it, tell her to shut the fuck up, and get back into my car. Why didn't I? I was afraid that she'd gouge my eyeballs out with her 4" long blue fingernails.
People like this need to take a step back and chill out. Life really isn't that bad.
Same goes for the guy in the DMV division of the DT Minneapolis courthouse that was getting pissy because his number was 98 and they were only on 65. Bring a book to read, dude. It's your own damn fault you're there in the first place, so suck it up like a big boy.
And the people at the intersection that I work next to every day. The people that honk at a car because they're behind it, it's making a left turn, and they can't get past them. I don't know how you get by without ever having to make a left turn at a stoplight when you drive unless no one is behind you, but do share the secret if you would be so kind.
Life sucks sometimes, plain and simple. But when you start having temper tantrums over petty, ridiculous circumstances that really aren't that bad, kick back, breathe a little bit, and try to save that anger and aggression for something worth while. Like when those god damned senior citizens in front of me at the grocery store lines waste my time digging through their pockets for coupons so they can save 35 cents on a jar of pasta sauce. Ha! Just kidding.
I'm alive and well... where am I?
