From the Department of the Obvious

I experienced a breaking local news story yesterday on channel 5 in regards to how to deal with the heat and humidity. Viewers were advised the following if feeling exhausted and lethargic due to our current weather conditions (that being somewhat hot and humid):

1. Turn on the air conditioner
2. Take cold showers
3. If symptoms persist, see a doctor.

I was waiting for more great tips like this, maybe something like don't participate in strenuous activity, don't wear a winter jacket, and don't sit in the sun for too long, but that's all they had. Perhaps they were pressed for time and had to move on to even less informative news, like what the weather was like outside at that minute.

Okay, I think I get it now. After all these years of sitting around in the summer wondering why I felt so hot and not knowing what to do about it, I will take this tips to heart and see if they help. So it's the weather that's been making me feel that way all this time. Ah-HA! I feared I had seasonal malaria or something. Okay. If I feel like I'm a little too warm, I'm supposed to expose myself to air conditioning. Wow! I always wondered why people used those things.. now it all makes sense. And take a cold shower? I would have opted for the hottest water possible, but I guess cold water would cool a person off a bit better.

I will sit by the TV with baited breath when it gets cold out just in case they do a segment on how not to be cold. I usually leave the windows wide open in the winter to let the cold air out of the house, but I just might be wrong on that one.

Maybe the first tip will be "Watch obvious news tips on warming up in cold weather. That way you'll get frustrated at what f*&king idiotic tips will be provided and your body heat will rise as a result."