Those words, my friends, are the recipe for getting your drug-deal partner bound, gagged, and carved up with a chainsaw like a Thanksgiving turkey while a nice man points a gun to your head to make sure you’re watching.
Ah, the wonderful splendor and glory of cinema.
I watched Scarface the other night for the first time since I was a youngen. Very charming, happy la la family fun piece of work, I must say! The soundtrack was so cheesy that it really dated the film… if the soundtrack in a movie stands out, it means it’s either really good or really bad… sadly, Scarface falls in the latter of the two categories. But other than that it was great, man. Or as Tony would say, "foh-king grate, mang!"
They sure say 'fuck' in this movie a lot, says I to myself as I was watchin' it. I just want to walk around saying "Fug chu, mang, you fugging peese of chit!" to everyone I see now as a result. As a matter of fact, I bet if somebody developed a drinking game where every time the F-word was used and you had to do a shot, you wouldn't be able to feel your legs after about 20 minutes. They even pointed the gratuitous F-word abuse out in the movie itself: A Grease 2-era Michelle Pfeiffer plays Tony's (Al Pacino's) wife and yells him saying he says "fugg" too much. When you're thinking it as a viewer and then one of the characters points it out like that, it makes you feel like you told her in private that maybe she might want to talk to him about it.
You could also make a drinking game by taking a shot every time someone in the movie gets shot. It prolly wouldn't be as consistently intoxicating as the F-word drinking game. That is until the very end - where after copping a light buzz for most of the movie, your liver would receive a tidal wave of liquor and you could very well suffer from blood alcohol poisoning. A shitstorm of approximately 18,872 bullets fly through the air and take up residence in who and whatever happens to be in their paths. Nearly everything in the set was turned into swiss cheese and it was hella awesome, let me tell you. Most believe that those were just actors acting, but I heard that they were actually really getting shot to make the film a little more convincible.
I was very amused watching Al Pacino's mouth move whenever he talked, especially when he was really pissed off. It looked very silly, sort of like it was on spin cycle. And his sister’s cotton-candy hair... priceless.
If there was a “Most Cocaine Snorted in a Motion Picture” academy award in 1983, this movie would surely take home the cake. Seeing Pacino just bury his face in mountains of coke made me want to jump on a unicorn and fly through rainbows throwing lollipops from a magic bag.
Overall, this was a great film and I’m probably going to go watch it again now with aspirations of someday owning a bathtub the size of a small house in which I can take small house-sized bubble baths, smoke Cuban cee-gars, wear gold chains, and say the F-word too much. All while watching the giant TV located at the foot of the small house-sized tub.
“Say allo to ma leetle frend…”
