I'll be working at the shop listening to a CD. It's all good clean family fun, but the second an old lady or person who we know is very religious comes in, it will be the 2 seconds on the CD where there's cussing or inappropriate lyrics.
This happens nearly every time - Ben Folds Five "Whatever and Ever Amen" is a perfect example. The usual happy-go-lucky delightful Ben Folds music fills the air, but in walks Granny Higgins and her 2 grandkids right during "FUCK YOU TOO - GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK... GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK, YOU BITCH!"
I can't even listen to the radio without this happening. This morning I had the morning show on and a regular devoted church-going customer came in with her daughter. 3 seconds later when it was dead silent, I was making their drinkies and one of the talk show hosts said something like "he was probably busy wiping his pubic hairs off of the computer keyboard!" It cut through the silence like a stanky fart in an elevator full of people. The radio crew, needless to say, weren't talking about anything like that before aforementioned customer and daughter came in - that's just what happens. And the radio/cd player is in the back room, an area far out of reach at moments like that, so I either turn the espresso grinder on, try and make small talk, or drop something to mask the untimely profanity.
Maybe from now on, I'll just listen to whatever the hell I want to and cut to the chase when someone walks in. From now on, I'll greet them like this: "Good morning, what fuck fuck fuck penis penis erectile disfunction coitus ass belly button earwax fart can I get for you today?"
