A customer just came into the coffee shop and asked me if I knew where The Wienery is. Me? Never been. However, I've heard The Wienery is evidently a restaurant of sorts that serves - you guessed it - wieners. Wait... I can't call him a customer, because I had never seen him before and he did not purchase anything. He was a wiener eater in peril.
A person doesn't expect to be greeted by another person with an inquiry such as this: "Hey, man, do you know where the Wienery is?" If your brain is like mine, when you hear a word like "wiener" and don't see it coming, it's funny. 'Funny' like when you're walking by someone at the grocery store and you hear them gas. You want to laugh so bad, but you can't.
The lost wiener-craving gentleman sported a beard and looked like the wiener eating type. It was hard for me to withhold myself from making some sort of Beavis & Butthead comment. So hard. No pun intended. Something along the lines of "sorry, Buttlick, but I'm not that kind of person," or "so, what are you gonna eat when you get there?"
Thanks to the internet, I was able to assist His Wienerness in finding his destination via Mapquest and he was soon on his way to wiener-eating heaven.
FYI: to properly locate The Wienery, head north on Cedar and it's somewhere just before Washington. It's safe to assume it is a building that has a sign on it that says "The Wienery". It will more than likely be the only place on the block with a lot of people stuffing big fat wieners into their mouths. So - when you see a building with a 'Wienery' sign on it full of people stuffing big wieners into their mouths, yup, that's probably The Wienery. If you're hungry for a wiener, I bet they'll hook your ass up. And you best not be asking for none of that B-grade processed Oscar Meyer caca lest you want to be thrown out and told to go to Superamerica and never come back. I have a feeling with a name like "The Wienery", you get the real tasty 'freshly slaughtered by Farmer Ted lips & assholes tightly secured in a natural casing' deal.
When you get there, yell out loud and clear that you want the biggest, hottest wiener they've got, see what happens, and get back to me.
