Coke with lime. *sigh*
Why does this exist? Is there an underground society of Coke drinkers out there that are squeezing limes into their Cokes? It almost seems as if Coca Cola is creating these new flavors to generate curiosity amongst its consumers causing them to buy some just to see what it tastes like and move more product. But they wouldn't do that, would they? Naaaaah!
I wasn't paying attention at the gas station the other day and accidentally grabbed a limed-up Coke thinking it was Coke flavored Coke. I got into the Pinto and a few miles later realized that the cap was green. "F*&K!! Limes were not part of the plan!" says I to myself. However, I needed sugary hydration something fierce and Hell if I was going to stop again when I already had $1.09 invested in sugary hydration, so I reluctantly twisted the green cap off and took a chug.
"Hmmm..." I thought to myself while smacking my tongue waiting for it to respond to this new blend of citrus and high fructose corn syrup. My tastebuds finally reacted and sent a strong jolt to the part of my brain that votes "Nope."
There have been other Coke enhancements that have proven to be successful such as Cherry Coke. Cherries? Okay. Fine. Diet? That's fine too.. not everyone wants more sugar muscle around the waistline or teeth that feel like sandpaper after you have a can. Caffeine free Coke? Hey, that's cool too... some people just can't do caffeine.
But that's not the case with Lime Coke. I have never heard of a person's diet requiring that they drink more shit with lime flavor in it.
There's also Vanilla Coke. And C2, which sounds like a tile found in the Periodic Table of Elements. And last but not least - Coke with lemon. I bought that by mistake also and thought that maybe someone at the bottling plant had replaced a vital Coke ingredient with Pledge furniture polish.
It's not just Coke. Pepsi is running quickly behind them trying to keep up. I was in the store buying milk this morning and spotted an endcap crammed full of "NEW! Pepsi with lime!" Three cheers to the Pepsi developers for coming up with such a clever, unique flavor sensation. Dr. Pepper is at it too, but they're going the kamikaze route and saying "Fuck it - let's just throw all of the flavors into one can!" I was at my parent's house and spotted a can of Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper. I repeat: Diet. Cherry. Vanilla. Dr. Pepper. That's 11 syllables just to say the flavor of one can of soft drink. At that point you might as well turn the name into an acronym.
Enough of the citrus/fruit/vanilla thing. Here's a list of Coke enhancements that I think they should tackle next (and then Pepsi can follow their lead).
Extreme Coke All the goodness of Coke with twice the carbonation and Coke flavor. After burning your throat to a raw pulp, it will eat away at the lining of your stomach. Yum!
Iced Cocha Coke with espresso, chocolate and milk
Poke A 50/50 Pepsi and Coke mix
Coke with Chunks Just what it sounds like. Coke with Coke-flavored chunks.
Smoke-A-Cola Coke with refreshing hickory smoked flavoring added (could also spawn a new line of Coke-flavored cigarettes)
Breakfast Coke with sausage, maple syrup and egg flavoring
Croak This could be one of two ideas. Frog flavored Coke. Or - Coke laced with poison for those who want to commit suicide and enjoy a tasty beverage at the same time.
These are just some ideas. Hey, they're no more ridiculous than Crystal Cherry Diet Pepsi.
