Thursday, April 14, 2005

Thou shalt not covet thy loved one's stereophonic nostrils

I know I'm not the only one this happens to, because I've asked others.

When I have a cold (like I do now), why is it that when my nose is stuffed, it's only on one side and it has a tendency to switch from one nostril to the other a few times a day? One nostril is shut off like I have a bullet lodged up in there like in the "Strange Brew" courtroom scene, and the other is as clean and clear as can be. They suddenly both will open up and I can breathe freely, or as I should say as a devoted KISS fan, "Frehley", and suddenly 30 seconds later the other nostril is plugged. It's a big tease - I think I can breathe in stereo again but nope... it's just the other nostril stepping up to take its turn.

They can perform pitch correction miracles in the studio with people like Britney Spears and Paula Abdul, but they can't invent a cure for the common cold. Maybe Eventide should start making nose correction pills (sorry, a little musician studio humor there..)

Back to my box of incredibly abrasive generic booger paper for now. As an added bonus, when you pull a tissue out of a box of generic brand booger paper, you usually get 2 or 3 because they're stuck together.

I thought that was only supposed to happen after you use them.