Saturday, January 1, 2005

Coffee Shop Freak of the Week, aka "Anyone want a bloody Walkman?"

lo·qua·cious (adj.) Very talkative; garrulous.



HI, I'M LOQUACIOUS BOY, I'M VERY LOQUACIOUS, DO YOU KNOW WHAT LOQUACIOUS MEANS? IT MEANS VERY TALKATIVE, IT’S WHAT MY PSYCHIATRIST SAYS I AM, THEY SAY I’M VERY TALKATIVE I’M IN A COFFEE SHOP AND THIS DUDE WORKING THERE SEEMS NICE AND MY HANDS,



THEY ARE PRETTY BLOODY BUT THE BLOOD IS MOSTLY DRY NOW I’LL ASK HIM FOR A GLASS OF WATER AND HE JUST GAVE ME ONE AND THEN I ASKED HIM FOR ANOTHER GLASS AND HE GAVE ME ONE, I TOLD HIM ABOUT HOW DIRTY AND NASTY THE CITYPAGES PROSTITUTE ADS ARE, DUDE, MAN, AND HOW I SAW THAT PAGE WITH THE PROSTITUTES ON IT WHEN I WAS WALKING PAST THE AIRPORT,



THAT’S JUST WRONG WHAT AM I GONNA DO, SPEND ALL MY CHRISTMAS MONEY ON PROSTITUTES??? HEY, THESE GREETING CARDS ARE NICE, HOW MUCH ARE THEY, OH THOSE ARE REALLY COOL PICTURES, BUT YEAH, PROSTITUTES ARE DIRTY AND ALL OVER THOSE CITYPAGES ADS, I DON’T THINK SO, THAT’S JUST WRONG, THAT’S WHAT’S WRONG WITH SOCIETY TODAY, OH, MY HANDS HAVE A LITTLE BLOOD ON THEM I BETTER GO GET ANOTHER GLASS OF WATER FROM



THE GUY BEHIND THE COUNTER HE JUST REFILLED MY CUP, YEAH HE’S A PRETTY COOL DUDE, PERHAPS I’LL TAKE THIS BOOK ABOUT KITTIES AND SIT AT A TABLE AND READ IT OUT LOUD, THAT’S WHAT A NORMAL PERSON WOULD DO



I AM READING THE KITTY BOOK NOW., OH, HERE COMES A MAN WITH A LAPTOP I WILL TELL HIM ABOUT THE CITYPAGES PROSTITUTE ADS TOO, THOSE ARE JUST WRONG, I’M WORKING ON MY ROUTINE, YOU KNOW, I’M GONNA FIND OUT WHAT WORKS. OH, I WONDER WHAT THE GUY IS LOOKING AT ON HIS LAPTOP.. I’LL PULL UP A CHAIR RIGHT NEXT TO HIM AND FIND OUT, OH, THIS GUYS AN ASSHOLE, HE TOLD ME TO BACK OFF, I’LL SHOW HIM, I’M LEAVING THIS DAMN DUMPY ASS COFFEE SHOP.. I’M IN THE DOORWAY NOW, I’M LEAVING, BUT FIRST I’M GOING TO THROW MY CUP OF WATER AT HIM AND HIS LAPTOP BECAUSE HE’S AN ASSHOLE OH I JUST THREW IT AT HIM NOW I NEED TO RUN LIKE HELL BEFORE HE GETS UP AND CHASES AFTER ME, UH OH, I THINK I LEFT MY BLOODY WALKMAN AND HEADPHONES THERE, AW, MAN, AW, MAN, I GUESS I’LL JUST GO BACK AND GET THEM TOMORROW.



I’LL

JUST GO BACK AND GET THEM TOMORROW. RUN RUN RUN!