In the early 90's, I worked overnights at Target with Derek for a number of years. Derek was funny, although he wasn't ever trying to be. It was all due to the fact that he'd fried his brain on chemicals all through high school. He would sit and watch us play cards in the break room and start muttering the word "Scurvy" over and over again, and phonetically mutate it to the point where it sounded like he was saying "SCAR-VAY! SCAR-VAY!" "Crikey" was another favorite of his, which he'd repeat over and over and eventually add "Walter" as a prefix.. "WALLLTER CRY-KAY! WAL-TER CRY-KAY!"
Derek ripped open packages of red gummy coins as we were unloading the trailers and packed them away in his yap like a squirrel preparing for winter.
One time the usual group of us were at Perkins after a long night at the store.. Derek opened up a ketchup bottle, coughed up a big glob of snot in his throat, and ever so carefully spit it into the bottle. He screwed the cap back on and continued eating his eggs.
Yeah, he was a dirty fucking slob, but damn, that kid was funny. Where is he now?
