My nephew recently purchased a Dance Dance Revolution rig for PlayStation 2.. it consists of 1 game and 2 floor pads (sold separately). The floor pads are plugged into the PS2 console and act as controllers; you stand on them and press arrow buttons with your feets that correspond with arrows that fly by on the TV screen in sync with bad techno music. It's a good time and the closest anyone will ever come to seeing me dancing... Before you know it, the people watching are laughing at you, you're all sweaty like a sexy Backstreet Boy, and the calories melt away. This is quite the contrast to other fine PS2 games where you do things like carjack, slit people's throats, drive around as Bart Simpson in a rocket, etc. while sitting on your arse and eating Cool Ranch Doritos. Don't get me wrong - those games are all needless to say just as fun, healty, and educational.
So, I got to thinking. This sort of interactive Dance Dance Revolution gaming could open a lot of new doors and possibilities for us gamers. Here's a few of my own personal ideas:
Sandwich Shop Revolution Would come with a countertop-shaped controller pad. Objective: properly assemble sandwiches in a timely fashion as the ingredients are spewed out by a mumbling customer on the TV screen
Watch A Bad Movie Revolution Comes with controller pad you put on your couch or chair. If you get up during the movie, the pad detects it and you lose, fucker.
Dentist Dentist Revolution Comes with life sized human head controller. Objective: Clean, floss, perform mild orthodontist tasks; try not to make the virtual head on the TV scream.
Shave a Monkey Revolution In this Revolution game, you take your controller, a plastic razor, and hold onto the included stuffed monkey which is also hooked up to the PS2 and wiggles around via Dual Shock technology like a... well... like a monkey being shaven. Advertising slogan can be something like "You can do what you need to, but don't cut the monkey!"
Flapjack Gravity Revolution Controllers: 1 tightrope and 1 spatula. Objective: Carry a spatula stacked full of pancakes over a tightrope line without losing your balance or any pancakes.
Mail Opening Revolution Hours of entertainment as you open and read your giant virtual pile of snail mail with your controller - a letter opener.
Ice Skate Sharpening Revolution Controllers for this one would be a giant spinning wheel and a fake ice skate. Try to follow arrows on screen for optimum ice skate sharpening without cutting your hands. Every so often the game throws you for a loop by making you sharpen a pair of scissors.
Revolution Revolution Revolution Pretty much same as Dance Dance Revolution, but the TV screen would show somebody playing DDR. Objective: follow the person on TV playing DDR and their mistakes.
This is just the tip of the iceberg, folks. Attn. Konami, EA, and other game makers: I'm available for a position in your concept development departments at any time, but don't think these ideas don't come without a substantial price tag... call me some time and we can negotiate.
