I usually don't do requests, but one was put in for me to do some abstract writing and I feel obligated to go above and beyond to deliver the goods. Enjoy. Contrary to what many of your assumptions will be after reading this, it was done in a 100% clean and sober state of mind; the side effects of going a little too far into the stream of consciousness realm can be deceiving ones indeed..
Once upon a time Ted the pheasant was out struttin' and stumbled across a giant pile of earplugs and dog poop on the trail. "Ah HA!" said Ted the pheasant. "Earplugs and dog poop!" He made a mental note of this small, smelly spectacle, feeling a peculiar yet calming sense of deja vu and 110% pod-ness, and carried on with his walk smoking like a chimney. He waved to his friend Frank as he walked by, yelling "Bread balls! Top of the morning to you! Bet you wish you weren't all covered in spit!"
Earplugs and dog poop. Earplugs and dog poop. What a most fascinating thing to deter my brain thruout this fascinating journey! he thought to himself as he got into his spaceship and took a long, titillating drive around strange body of water.
He then returned to his spatula sharpening shoppe and sharpened spatulas all afternoon long, looking very much forward to a nice sugary bowl of cereal at the end of the day in one of those special cereal bowls with a built in straw, and a side order of chewy steak.
And so the end of the day came, and after much sugary cereal and chewy steak was consumed and the last slurp of brown skim milk was sucked out of the bowl, Ted retired to his giant purple chair in the sky for a bit of maxin' and relaxin'. Ended up falling asleep, did he, and had him a dream about a white beer can, a little green man, and a strange crosseyed 1950's mama mixing up a bowl of cake batter.
He then woke up and made a kickass collage out of bagged salad trimmings and A1 sauce.
A face in the collage said "Can I have a glass of water with which to wash this chocolate down?"
"But of course," he replied softly, "Help yourself to all the water you need, my dear. "
Who's That Girl in the bathroom? Papa Don't Preach.
This is Smurf dawg, over, under, and out. And don't call me Shirley.
