I was walking down the street near my place the other day and a gentleman that looked sorta like Danny Aiello approached me from a new storefront in town. It is a dry cleaners. The floor is a giant black and white checkerboard and the place looks quite tidy, so I like it already. Problem is, most of what I own requires no dry cleaning, save for that one tie I bought back in 1994.He emerged from the doorway and excitedly said to me "Excuse me sir. We are a new business in town, we do dry cleaning!" He had money saving certificates in his hand and passed one onto me. "$6.99 jackets, half of what Nokomis Cleaners charges!"
I looked at the sheet and thought aw shit, I don't ever take stuff to dry cleaners, but I wanted to help Dude out, 'cause he seemed friendly. I sensed his desperation, so tried to humor him by asking a question:
"You guys do socks?"
He winced a little, gave me a weird look, and I could tell I wasn't going to get anywhere with this guy by cracking jokes with him. Okay.. um.. "Oh, $6.99 jackets!" I said. "I've been meaning to take this old thing in!" as I wiggled the zipper up and down a little bit on my dark blue jacket. fwwt fwwwwwt!
"$6.99, I'll do it for you right now!" he said. Jeez, it's cold out and I have no other means of protection from our harsh climate right now. It's not like I had my Taun Taun parked at the curb that I could slit open and crawl inside to keep warm. I lost two already last winter doing that and am currently saving up for my next one. A Hybrid, no less.
I told him I'd be back with my coat tomorrow and he said "Okay!" and introduced himself, shaking my hand. I wanted to give him a hug and tell him business would get better, but kept it at a handshake.
Well, it's tomorrow now and I've got a few days left to go yet till payday. I've a car repair bill to pay for, so let me just say with that in mind having a nice smelling coat isn't my first priority at this time. I can see his storefront from my bedroom window and am wondering if he can see me. And he's probably wondering why I didn't come in like I said I would.
Now I can't take my usual walk to SA past his store, because he'll see me and there will be that awkward tension. This could all turn into a Seinfeld episode the way things are going: I live right across the street, he will see me outside, an across-the-street shouting match might ensue..
That's it. I need to bring my jacket in. Maybe I can go buy another one to wear while I have my current one in his shop. It will end up costing me $66.99 or something if I do that though.
Okay. So I'll just give the guy a shameless plug and hope that's good enough for my independent dry cleaner karma. If you live in Uptown and your DRY CLEAN ONLY duds are starting to carry a cloud of dusty been-sitting-in-a-closet B.O., act now and take 'em to Genesis Cleaners on Franklin. The prices are astounding (actually I have no idea about that) and the ambiance is something to be seen. This ain't your mama's dry cleaners. As the price list I have says, WE DARE TO COMPARE.
Somebody dare them, please. I only have one jacket and it's hella cold out right now.
