I'm very paranoid about having B.O., exspeshilly living in the area I do which is flourishing with punk rockers that harbor a perma-cloud of onion-esque aroma around their persons 24/7. Walk into the SA on Lyndale at any given moment and you'll smell what I'm getting at. Not so bad now as it's colder out and most wear jackets these days which contain their funk quite effectively. But your nose still gets slapped by it every so often no matter how many layers a person has on.
I ritualistically apply some pit-stick at least twice a day and take great pride in how lovely my armpits usually smell (feel free to ask me to lift an arm to take a huff if we're ever hanging out and see for yourself, they're really quite refreshing). I was a little out of it this morning and am sitting here at work now, just realizing that I had neglected to apply my usual AM coating of underarm protection to get me through the first half of the day. I'm not catching any unpleasant man musk aromas creeping from my pits, but I know I didn't take the usual protective measures this morning and that makes me feel a lil' at risk. And now here I sit developing chronic paranoia of the hygiene kind, my arms firmly planted against my trunk in fear of somebody walking past me and potentially catching a hint of Micycle Musk, thinking "Geez, does this dude ever take a bath?"
I know - sitting with my arms down is only going to make it worse, but at the same time I don't want to lift them, 'cause you, know, what if there actually is a funk of some sort happening? "What you don't know can't hurt you," or so they say.
So I have a few options here:
1) Go home during lunch, run to my precious antiperspirant stash, and relieve the paranoia (this would also include a shirt change as an added bonus).
2) Walk up to the drug store and spend $4 on some. I already have, like, 4 sticks at home because this has happened before and I've ended up buying it in lieu of wasting my lunch break going home. So I don't really need anymore, really. Not to mention I have this firm belief that deodorant goes bad and loses its potency over time. Also, there's better things to be spending $4 on, like bad overpriced coffee.
3) Just put on my happy hat and do nothing but suck it up for the next 6 hours. Ugh, the very notion of that just kills me.
What to do, what to do. I’m looking at my watch and my left heel is nervously bouncing up and down on the floor.
Is it getting hot in here?
